Billy's guts.
by Izaayous
Summary: Ron is in a bad mood and Hermione and I are almost married! Something totally GROSS happens to Bill Gates too, please read.
1. Revelations

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Disclaimer: Bill Gates owns his money his money, he owns himself and I own the car.

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Ron: Hermione! Harry! What are you two doing up there!!!

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Hermione: (Apparates) Ron, what's the matter with you? We just started the fic remember?

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Harry: (Apparates)Hi everyone.

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Ron: It's about time you got here. C'mon I wanna show you the car my dad bought for me.

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Me: You weren't thinking of going without me, were you? Answer me!!!

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Ron: Harry, Hermione…back up. It's one of'em.

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Harry: One of who? 

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Hermione: Doesn't he look dreamy?

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Me: Why thank you Herm. Friday 9 o'clock?

Hermione: K! (Fluttering eye-lashes)

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Ron: May we please get this over with?

Harry: Well _you're_ in a good mood today!

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Me: Go jump in the lake!

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Hermione: You're really a plague!

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Ron: Okay! I get the drift! _He_ made me do it.

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Hermione: Oh! You beast, from now on the wedding's off!

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Ron: (raising eye-brow) Wedding?

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Me: Yeah. What do you think we were whispering about? Poetry?

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Ron: Well, yeah.

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Harry: Ron, you're too much!

Me: Let's go!

Poof!

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Me: Nice car.

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Ron: Thanx.

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Harry: You sure you know how to drive this thing?

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Ron: Sure!

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Sreeeeeeccch! Wam!!!

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Me: Um…Ron. Aren't you supposed to raise the garage door _before _you back out?

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Ron: Oh.

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Hermione: Can we pleeaaase get this over with?

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Ron: There! Now we can go.

Scrreeeeeech! Wham!

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Me: Um…Ron?

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Ron: Not now!

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Harry: Ron, listen to m…

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Ron: Shut up!

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Hermione: Oh gross!

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Harry: I can't watch anymore!!!

Squish!

Gloop!

Squash!

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Ron: Hey! What's that dead body doing over there?

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Hermione: Oh Gawd!

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Me: Isn't that Bill Gates?

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Harry: Ron! You just killed Bill Gates!?!?

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Me: Now you've got to turn your-self in.

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Ron: Nah. I'm sure he has some computer clone somewhere to re-place him. Wait a sec.

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Hermione: What are you doing?

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Ron: Can't let good food go to waste. Anyone want this leg?

Authors Note: Yeah yeah yeah. I know, this is sick. I only wrote it 'cause I was bored. As much as it would surprise you, **_I DON'T WANT ANY FLAMES!_** Thanx for reading this, byes.


	2. They're Everywhere!

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Disclaimer: I only own the car, the court and any other thing you don't recognise.

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The story so far: Ron is being very snobby and in his anger knocks Bill Gates down with his new car. To make matters worse, he hops out and starts eating the guy!

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Ron: Mmmm-mmmmm! That was delicious! Where's Herm?

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Harry: Sh…Sh…She went to the bathroom.

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Ron: Oh Blow! Well, does any one want the leftovers? 

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Me: Ron! That's _disgusting_! 

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Ron: Look. So it wasn't blessed by Roland McDonald so what? They eat horses in France, you know.

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Harry: Excuse me, I…I gotta go to the bathroom too. (Runs out of the car)

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Me: Ron, it's pretty obvious that you need psychiatric help. *Just then policemen screech to a halt by the scene* 

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Policemen: Okay sonny, I hope you have a good explanation for all this.

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Me: Yes sir I do. You see, my friend here isn't feeling very well and..

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Ron: Hey Jimmy! Long time no see!

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Policemen (Jimmy): Yo Ron! Where've you been?

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Me: Do you know this guy?

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Ron: Yeah. He works part time at the butchers, speaking of that, did you get my order for the five pounds of chimpanzee? 

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Policemen (Jimmy): I did. But it kinda got rotten.

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Ron: Don't matter, I'll come for it anyway. Want the leftovers?

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Policemen **(Jimmy):** Sure! I'm hungry anyway.

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Me: **What's wrong with you two! **C'mon we're going to the courthouse!

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Judge: Okay sir, let me get this straight. These two gentlemen actually ate a man up raw in the middle of the road?!?!

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Me: Yes sir.

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Judge: **OMG!** You too are a disgrace to the nation!

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Me: That's right.

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Judge: We can't have people walking about chewing other people up!

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Me: Precisely my point.

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Judge: And you had the nerve to do it in public!

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Me: Unfortunately so.

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Judge: _Everybody _knows it tastes better with fried chips and ketchup!!!

Authors Note: I know most of you think this is too gross to review. But since the first one was such a hit I figured you would want a sequel! Please review if you choose.


End file.
